HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO ME! =DDD

sound kind of pathetic yea. but who cares. i have hell lot of fun ytd and today. however, it wasnt even to brighten up my whole day though. but it's ok. kind of miss those days when i'm just studying and studying in my mathy world. well, time flies, grow up girl. you are 17th remember. ohwell, i'm 17th. but seem like no one regard me as a big girl yet.

ytd was awesome. the gang drop by to GR just to celebrate my birthday. it was abit rush though. but i have fun and i felt loved once again. they came up with powerpoint slides and presentations for me. and most importantly, a yogurt cake. is it called a yogurt cake with big big strawberries. =D and out of dunno why, i ate them all. lol. hmm, well.. i dun consider that as a fantastic planning however, i enjoy it. even at the last part, something make ying felt so down. hahaha.. so in order to cheer them up, i played tonghua by piano for them. haha.. *clap hand lar* ok, i admit i play so suckily. no worries, i gonna learn and master it. hmm.. it sound so cool. well, i am still waiting for racheal to call me. seem like she forgot abt my birthday. nvm, it's ok. sigh. my birthday. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY YOU KNOW. so people have been bug by me since early morning. haha. thankyou. x) went to mac to have a nice catch up session which i enjoy so much. haha.. sound like a kiddo. i was actually wanting to go and eat my ice cream but i cant find something i like. haha.. and wad brighten me up was, they say i slim down. is it just bcos it's my birthday tht's why? haha.. but who cares after all? i'm cute and lovable.

well, today wasnt that fantastic but it was just alright for me. =D i tried my best to maintain really happy today and somehow, it work quite well. heh heh.. reached around 1030am, and the HODs are hellish busy and no one cares abt me. =( despite i was so hyper saying hello, to hi and to how are you, no one cares. so, after awhlie, ms liew notice me and shouted:"ohh, happy birthday. peiching! =)" well, and i feel soooo happy. haha.. sound stupid lah. but i dun care. my uncle was nowhere to be seen. but when he came in tht time, he was like: " hello, you came?" lameshit. of cos i came. if not how am i suppose to be there? lol. well.. and my uncle called me out of the HODs room. i tot i gonna do more and more work again. so i sigh. eventually, he passed me the present he brought for me. haha.. *wheeweee* my uncle rawks. he buy me a ipod nano with 2GB. haha.. and he say:" guess wad i brought for you? it's not too ex and not too cheap. from me." ahaha.. first time after so many bad mood day i suffer. haha.. so i didnt really know until he say:" it's pink!" so i shouted:" nano?" and he smile and added:" i brought a 2 GB one." hahaha.. and he ask me to open to see if i like it. omg! i nearly faint infront of him. pink nano? even though i got myself black laoya one. haha. thankyou my precious uncle. well, after that people start to wish me happy birthday eventually. mrs valerie say she wanted to bring me out to lunch today. but ms liew order kfc to celebrate in the end. mr soo was cool, he was like saying:"happy birthday peiching. ohh, i got lesson.. shit!~!@%^&" nice one mr soo. mr seah one is the best i ever have in my 17th life. i was like:" mr seah, today is my....." mr seah:" yah lah, i know i know, your birthday rite? aiya, i very busy lah. dun disturb me now." so he was like:" happy birthday sucker." idiot. GRRRRS~ who else. ohh.. mr vic lee, he say:" happy birthday girl. you are older again,. you want my flu? zZzZz!" mr lee sc sang me a birthday song! haha.. i'm so happy. it's annual, he do this every year. =D and my mr ong is the best. he wish me on the dot when i'm onine at 12am. love ya mr ong! wakakkas.. and ms tan wished me after i finish lesson iwth 1E4 today. heh heh. i'm 17th! wonderful. -_-" oldie. heh.. i was like bring this huge huge bear walking around the school and ms liew claim it's my uncle. as usual lah. and most importantly, you ppl belong to me. just me. (:

thanks to all my friends who smsed me. somehow, i know you ppl are force to. i dun care. haha.. mr lee was really irritating. i mean lee sc! yes! he was so irritating! he say:" i can see the sky turn dark, the tree being to bleed, the earth was splitting into 2........." and i was like:" huh? wad are you talking abt?" den sudeenly he say:" omg, it's the end of the world!!!!" stupid lee sc. i hate you lah. always bully me. andmrs lim say tml she will bring me to haagen daze for ice cream. well, i love my teachers. =D they are somehow force by me to do such things. i wanto ponned school on friday. yup, most probably. i'm tired. hahaa.. bad girl//- ME? heh..

hmm, currently, MY UNCLE IGNORE ME AGAIN?! he ask me to stop sms him and leave him alone. he wanto be alone. he need to be alone. well, i'm hurt again. sigh. why? i'm hurt that how come i cant play a part in your life. argh. i mean i help so annoyed i cant help you. and godpa was really bad! i was having coffee with him. and he saw this news that a girl was drown or washed away in the drain lah and he suddenly say:" how come you are sitll here?" den i say:" why cannot? bleah =P" and he say:" i tot you were been washed away?" and he pointed to the article. damn it. i cant be wash away lah. i feel kind of useless too. he say he's feeling so bad now, he need me to leave him alone. well, dad.. i tot you say never to leave you alone? sigh. well, i wun sms you anymore. really, til the day you are getting better. i dunno what happen. really! last week, he was still feeling so happy for the upcoming speech day and today he was like tht. it merely 7 days, and everyone notice this huge changes. sigh. well, all i can do is leave you alone i guess. i will. i just miss those time when you crack jokes with me. which i really miss. i wanto laugh so loud, i want to listen to your superman and spiderman story. i wan you to kick my chair when i'm doing my stuff. i want you to ask me to go and die. i want you to scold me ~@#%^. but now ll this seem to be gone. wad can i do? i told you millions of time, i will be there. i told you thousand of time, you will never be alone. i told you hundred of time i gonna be there for you. but did i ever seen you get better. sometime, when you are moody, it affects ppl around you. yes, you are my sunshine. rmb, when i get you the sunflower what you say? you say you will be my sunshine forever. yes, godpa. you say you will be there for me. you say you wanto treasure the time together so we all should be happy. yes, you say. you say. for wadever you have say, i learn and i practise it. i believe and i trust you. if now, i can use my years living in this world to change you back to who you used to be, i'm more than willing to do so. do you know when i make my first wish ytd, was my uncle to be really happy? when ms liew ask me wad present i want, i wanted so much to tell her that:" i just want my uncle to be happy like he used to be." but i know none of us can do that for you. you decide your life. you are making my life difficult and tired. sigh., i might be so irritating telling you how much you matter to me. you might just blacklisted my name and refuse to see my smses. i can say so much abt how important you are to us but how much does it help eventually? how much? you tell me. i'm really at my wits end now. i cheer up for you. i smile because of you. last year, when i'm feeling really down, even in your lesson, i smile cos i know you will not feel nice. but hten now? sigh. it's my birthday. i know you ask me to stop sms you to let you ahve a place to breathe. i know. but then, i really hate it. i dun like a fair bit. i dun want. can whoever up there give my godpa back? i'm willing to use 20years in exchange to change him back. yes, very willing. just let him be happy. i work for free, cos i know somehow, it will lessn your burden. when you told me ytd you actually want to come and find me, i was so happy. when you wanted to pass me my present. and you know i stay in cck. thankyou. i jsut wanted so much stuff which money cant buy. i cant imagine if you were to leave me first one day like what you told the juniors, if you were to collapse, i tell you.. i cant even survive. you once ask me:" what will you do if i die one day." yes, the answer is i will die with you. cos somehow, you became someone important to me, i dun want you to be like tht. you have been telling me, you are dying. you might leave me one day. you know how afriad i was? you know whenever you took your bag and rush out of the HOD room, i am afraid i might not see you the next day. when i see your car isnt in the carpark, i'm worry you will never drive back. do you know how much i cheris hall this time being with you ppl. i am just so afraid what you told me is true, tht you gonna leave me. i'm so scare that one day, when i go school they told me:" your uncle is gone." i am so worry there will never be a tml for both of us. tht's why, i treasure it so much. but are you? you scared me with the dying. i tell you, if you were to leave me just like tht and gone to other world, i will not forgive you, yes, i will not. and you say you will buried yourself with the scrapebook and the day is coming soon. i dun wan. i can give up half of my live to add on to yours. i dun wnat you to leave just like tht. you say half of the assets will be mine, and i will get it soon. i dun wan. i am never looking forward to it.

mr steven koh tee yong, if you were to see this, i want you to know.. if you choose to give up your life just like tht and leave me here, i will hate you. i want you to be happy. i went to cambodia all the temples just to pray for you to be happy. sigh. nvm lah. i'm nothing to you. thanks for your nano. i hugs you. i will leave you alone.