`` To See PANDA in China.
`` South Africa Trip.
`` Back To Cambodia.
`` HOLIDAYS! (:
`` plenty of MONEY.
`` get my diploma.
`` BURBERRY bag.
`` WONDERFUL 21st B'DAE
not to deny. i'm feeling so sad right now. sigh. i dunno why. i'm just wondering, what on earth happen between us? argh! wasnt both of us suppose to be understanding to each other. wasnt you the one that tht told me, no matter what gonna happen, you will be there for me? sigh. i just dislike it when you are feeling unhappy. i just hate it when you dun talk to me. get it? mr koh, why didnt you practise wad you preach. why didnt you keep your own promise? why do you have to lie to me? for god sake, why? i ratehr i'm the one you were shouting at. i hope i am the one that you tell straight to my face that:" you are extra in my life." i rather be the one that get to know what really happen to share everything with you. but why? i'm always not the one. i'm always the extra one. i'm always the one you ignore. can i let you know how much i dislike it? can i tell you straight on your face that i dun love this feeling to any bits. can you just stop showing me tht face of yours? can? PLEASE! cant you be the mr koh who was ytd? cant you be the one tht was snatching my balloon to play. cant you bet he mr koh who is kicking my chair? cant you be the mr koh tht ask me to shut up. cant you be the mr koh who i used to know? why? things changes. i hate it. and if you were looking at this, i hope at this very moment you are looking at this, reading my post. yes! mr steven koh tee yong! it's you. i hate the you today. i dislike it. i dun wan such godpa. i hate working in the same enviroment with you today! i just simply hate it. GET IT? i hate you today.
argh! yah, i cant draw as well as someone else.. i cant write good english like jonathan sng, i cant show you good result like nicholas. i cant play good piano song like bai shuo, i cant be as understanding as your mum. i cant be as well behave as your sec1 girl. i cant stop disturbing you. yes! it's me. i'm who i'm. i'm not capable of doing more. i cant, really i cant. i cant be moody just like you. why do you think i'm smiling everyday in school, cos i really cherish the time being with you, yes! you! not only you but also mr seah, mr soo, mr lee sc, mrs lim, ms liew. but did you every give me a fucking damn? i want you to be the one tht is oning different song to me. i want you to be the one asking me wad gone wrong. i want you to buy me my breakfast. i want you to play with me. i want you to be who you used to be. can? i'm not as good as anyone out there. i am not as capable and talented as any of your individual student, but all i can ssay is tht, but i will be there for you, every min, every sec, when you meet with any setback. yes, all the time, every month, every week, every day, every hour, every min, every second. i will be ther for you. but i only ask for tht you dun took me for granted. i really hate the feeling, i really wanto be someone important in your life, i just wanto be who i used to be. i just want to treasure the time with you. yes, it's you.. mr steven koh. wad i have done isnt it enough to prove anything? i am willing to just do anything for oyu cos you are my godpa. someone who used to love me and b nice to me not this black face man everyday. can you get it anot? i cant replace sipeng they all in your heart, i cant be so nice like shao mei to you, i cant take over anyone who is in your heart now. icant leave you a perfect impreesion you have of me. but why cant you just give me a place in your heart? why? is it seeing me make you bad mood? den i rather you dun see me. tell me tht, and i wun let you see me. understand? STEVEN KOH~ if you cant get it right, den let me go. seriously, i have enough.
sigh. enough. everything is enough. its jsut so clearly shown. she meant more than me to you. she drew better than me. she dance better than me. her result is better than me. she have a kind heart, she is nicer to you compare to me. well, if tht the case, why? why let me know you in the first place? why? i just hate it. i dun like mr koh to be close with her. yes, you. ungrateful girl. blardy shit. i'm not so nice as my godpa to accept you and to tell you tht you sucks. argh.. i have enough. really enough. i really hate you so much. well, MR STEVEN KOH TEE YONG, my godpa! if you were to like her so much and you think she can cheer you up.. well, go ahead. i dun care. seriously. i dun care. id un wan you to repay me next life, next next life. i dun need it. i just want you to be happy and let me find meaning in life too. cos somehow, you are important to me. now, let me tell you, YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME. i dun give a fucking damn abt wad ppl say abt you. i dun give a fucking damn abt ppl saying i'm loving you. yes, i love you as my dad. but if you were thinking just like them, i look down on you and i despise you! well, i'm really upset and angry. why on earth i'm suffering like tht. i hate it.
wadever. i wnato sleep. no one will ever see such post. no one will ever care. but i care. i care abt how you feel. i care and i really do. nyte. love ya.
