♥hold me tight, before i'm really gone. ;)
alright. today is 6th june. whoowoo.. =D sound so cool yea. ;) dunno why, just being random.. i suddenly feel like starting to do my father's day card. wow. =D
well.. melissa tan came to meet me. she sleep til 2.45pm i think. wth. she's super pro lar. sleep and sleep only. =X well, kind of grateful at this point of time, at least, there are still friends around me. aww.. i dunno why, but then the me last time who used to ahve alot alot of friends.. have now turn to.. hmm, nothing. yup, i'm some sort of left with nothing. x) well, heart that link forever. forever this wrod sound so funny to me now. well, does forever really exsit, i dunno. why am i here? wad am i suppose to do everyday. i kind of lost track of wad i'm suppose t do and the purpose or rather motive to stay alive. hmm, i dunno. ;)
msn with rach. she say she called me but i didnt pick up. ohh.. is it? ;( she's in brisbane. hehs. ohh.. talk alot and alot. well, kind of as usual.. thinking back to the past. now maybe she can hve better life, dun have to stay by me and suffering from all my lousy and sucks attitude. ohwell, i believe anyone there will have better attitude compare to me.
suddenly, i dun miss godpa anymore. i dunno why. perhaps, one wee khave gone.. all along, i have been asking myself.. am i been taken for granted. but then, when the answer is yes, i told myself it's ok. cos it's retribution.. but when i told myself no, i'm kind of decieving myself. ohwell. that's how life shuld be i think. i took otehrs for granted and when someone important to me will take me for granted as well. cos we tend to forget, when you are being treat better, there is still someone who mean more to you. i dunno. i'm jsut being random. godpa say dun ask for returns. i'm not asking for returns. but then, when someone pop the question, " dun you think you are taken for granted?" it set me thinking. ;)
ok. enough of such thing. chatting with rach make me feel better. share alot of stuff with her.. and i ask her to get me my snoopy mould. she got irritated too. lol. i love her. all along, i have been like super evil to her. but ohwell, whne i learn to treasure, she tend to be gone. ;) nvm, i'm never a good friend. that wad i can say. =) but then, thanks to all the kind soul around me. i lvoe you ppl. soul of 4E3, bullshit.. i think i'm the devil of 4E3. maybe without me, they might live much much more better. isnt it kind of true? hahaha!~ maybe i'm just being emo.. but then, i really dunno what good things i have done in my previous life and god gave me so much wonderful friends in my whole 17 life. but then, wad evil deed did my friends done to suffer from me for the past 17 years. i dunno. maybe wad i gave them was just random and crazy things i have been doing. ohwell.. i rather i'm still the kid walking and holding my mummy's hand rather than growing up and facing the ugliness of this whole world. sigh. i dunno. x=
well, cambodia. i wished to go.
year 2006, i wished to go.
be by mr koh, i wished i can.
be happy.
haha. random. okok.. some sort of dunno wad to do already. life simply tuneless. haha! i miss mr ong and daddy. yes, mr lee sc. i dunno where is he. perth? same as godpa? but then.. i kind of mss him more. ;) take care ppl.
wad if one day, i recieve a call saying you are gone. how will my reaction be. haha. stunned and just faint. or i will be just crying and crying. holding on to the coffin and refuse to let go. cant even brace up after you are gone. looking at all the past memories you left for me. seriously, i dunno. i couldnt imagine it. i thought, by thinking what you told me: " you are strong my girl." will amke me grow up. will make me accept the reality. but i foudn out, i cant. why do i have to hold on to you so tight for such a long time. i tend to forgot. "tend to forgot.?" there's nothing as tend to forgot. i ask myself why? i cat find the answer. sometime, when i sit by the window listening to the songs you once loved, i felt loss. i felt abandon. when i look back to the videos which consist of you, i ask myself why do i know you in the first place? why do you have to be the one going cambodia. why must you be the one sitting in the AFC gang's bus. why? why did i ever attend remedial in '05 december. why on earth did you become my godpa. i dunno. seriously, i really dunno. joachim call you dad, i dunno how come this 'dad' just couldnt come out of my mouth when we are face to face. i didnt miss you today. i dunno y too. i only can say, the one i really miss now is racheal and mr lee sc. sigh, i dunno why. of cos i hope to know when you are coming back. i hope to send a sms to you. but when i key in your name, i dunno wad to text. the same old thing? ohwell, i'm lost. i dunno. love ya.
ok, being draggy as usual. stooopppp~ life's beautiful. why do i always pass by 297C and i cant help but raise my head to look at 7th floor. tht's the place where i once go. sigh. nvm. long story. alright, be happy. shalala. i miss rach. sigh. dunno wad on earth god love to separate others. i wanto watch the star with you. yes, you. =$ <3
