school today again. like duh!~ i was late can. lol. i tot today start at 1030, so i slow down in everything i does. i miss D'. i still can sms ping say how come she is so freaking early. lol. and in the end, i'm the one who mixed up the time. tuesday is forever unlucky for me. yes, FOR ME CAN! omg, it sucks like crazy. well, enjoy the lunching with peers, realised they are actually good and friendly all the time. hmm, even though didnt speak much most of the time. like so not me yea. i dunno. lol. sit all quietly at the back during grammar. i think the grammar teacher should be having bad impression abt me, i was like fucking late today. 20mins? i think of wanting to skip 1/2 of the first lesson, but then, integrity strikes, who knows, if those kimchis gonna complain to king koh. lol. well, so went in with vanessa saying ' good morning.' =_=" it's so freaking paiseh can. hahah! but the few of them are kind of nice. thank ppl. (: i envy veneta, at least, every break, there's someone she can tlak to. obviously, her bf lar. why isnt thing going the same for me? i dunno. perhaps, i demand too much.

to you:

I KNOW YOU WILL NV READ MY BLOG, COS YOU DUN EVEN HAVE THE FUCKING TIME TO DO SO. WELL, I DUN BLAME YOU. HOW COME YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO UNHAPPY. IT MAKE ME FELT LIKE I'M SO IRRITATING TO YOU CAN. WHY ON EARTH CAN WE QUARREL AB NOTHING AND FIGHTING IT LIKE NOBODY BUSINESS. WHY CANT ON EARTH YOU TREAT ME NICER ABIT. YES, ABIT WILL DO. BUT THEN YOU NV WILL. ALL ALONG, RUGBY MATTERS MORE THAN I DO. DEN FOR FUCK WE ARE TOGETHER? I DUN BLAME YOU GOING TO TRAINING, AND I KNOW YOU DUN LIKE IT WHEN I KEEP RANTING ABT MY CLASS PPL. BUT I CANT DENY I GOT JEALOUS WHEN I SAW THE PIC OF YOUR ' GIRL-FRIENDS' I FEEL SO PATHETIC YOU KNOW. I DIDNT WANTO QUARREL. I KNOW I REALLY LOVE YOU AND I WANTED TO SEE YOU SO MUCH. AND YOU SAY AFTER TRAINING YOU WILL LOOK FOR ME, HELLO, EXCUSE ME. TRAINING END SO LATE? AND WAD ELSE YOU WILL PACIFY ME WITH NEXT MORNING, I DUNNO. YOU ARE DRIVING ME NUTS. I FEEL SUPER HURT YOU KNOW. WHY CANT WE BE MORE UNDERSTANDING. I KNOW YOU DUN LIKE IT WHEN I ALWAYS SPEND TIME WITH MY FRIENDS AND STUFF OR EVEN ENDING LATE. I TRIED MY BEST TO RUSH AND MEET YOU. BUT DID YOU EVER DID THT. I LOVE IT WHEN YOU SEND ME HOME, EVEN THOUGH WE JKUST STAY ONE CARPARK AWAY. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT THEN, EVER SINCE THT TIME, SINCE WHEN YOU DID THT AGAIN. I DUNNO. I REALLY WANTED TO BE TREATED LIKE A GF BY YOU. OR MAYBE YOU THINK I'M SUPER UNREASONABLE. I DUN WANT TO QUARREL WITH YOU COS OF A MOVIE OFR STUFF. WAD THE HELL ACTUALYL HAPPENING BETWEEN US. I DUNNO WHERE ARE YOU. I DUNNO HOW MUCH I MEANT TO YOU. I KNOW YOUR RUGBY TRAINING IS TIRED. I KNOW. BUT CANT WE EVEN MEET UP? I DUN DEMAND YOU TO CALL ME LIKE VENETA'S BF. I DUN DEMAND THAT YOU SPEND TIME WITH ME LIKE YENPING'S BF. BUT THEN, WHY CANT WE JUST HAVE OUR VERY OWN PRIVATE TIME? ALL YOU DID WAD TRAINING. I KNOW RUGBY MEANT TO YOU. HOW ABT ME? CAN YOU JUST TAKE MY FEELINGS INTO CONSIDERATION? SIGH BE IT.

well, i'm a bitch. so be it. i demand more and i'm a unreasonable bf. happy? i dunno. i cant help feeling down in class. i wanted to rush out every moment to go look for you. but then i cant. i know i have not fulfill my part. i dunno. i didnt tell godpa we are together. cos i know it gonna create another big hoo ha. i really love you. i cant lose you one more time. perhaps, to you, i'm jsut nothing. well, got to go. hugs!