♥101th. ijustWANTEDTOSMILE! (:
hmm.. (: i just came back from the session with fionn, yanting, darren, wei leong, xm, sy. it's kinda fun. lots of chatting done and the scene isnt tht cold afterall. finally, yanting know sy and sy know her too. fionn was cute. (: her side view look like kelly according to min. wahahas.. i didnt manage to go down to nysa chalet, cos i'm really dying. and i have no energy to travel down to downtown east. wahahahs. sucks. yup, i promise her to go and yet i didnt. =x wahahas. my head is so painful now. i got no more extra energy to do the board for mr koh. damn tired and sick. ): been blowing my nose since afternoon.. or rather morning. wahahas, we went to pool follow by mahjong. omg, mahjong make me high can. and i declared i love tansiying and khor xuan min. oh, weileong won 40cents. and tht yanting. bluff ppl only la she. opps! she is so firendly and she say this:' nv will i dream, i will play mahjong with peiching.' evil girl. sound as if i last time ill-treat her. yup, from enemy to friend. she's so cute. haha! i wanto go hongkong with you. bring me around i dun care. =xnext, play dai dee and mahjong, heart attack. omg, the heart attack is really fun. i enjoy myself today. initially going kbox tml but i'm kind of sore throat, i cant sing and i got ear block. ): hahha! waiting for melissa tan to call me. zhu tou le she. (: ohh, thanks to limyanting and melissa for the band photo as well as sc. (: i love you two. muacks!*tml shopping with jia and shirley. omg, i think i'm mad and i dun look or sound like i'm sick. haha! =x and kind of planned tht i'll ponned again on teachers day ba. =x wad excuse to godpa this time round? i feel so bad. ): hahah! flu and stuff all go away. it driving me nuts. ): hahah!~ love love. <3>
well, there's jsut something tht have been hide within myself, i wanted to share with ms tan or even godpa, but what will their point of view be? i'm worry,. they couldnt stand the truth. i afraid, they might not even want to forgive me. i felt i wasnt like myself anymore. it driving me nuts. but who can i share all this with? i really dunno. and i guess, godpa didnt wanto heard anything from me. he say i must know wad's right and wad's wrong, now i have really disgrace him, i dunno wad to say. i really afriad one day, he'll ignore me. and ms tan, she will just think i'm purely stupid. i dunno. i dun dare totell anyone. it have been a nightmare eversince. sigh. why? why on earth am i always so slly yo hurt godpa. i say, i wun do things tht will hrut him but is it true? i have been adding on to his problems eversince. sigh. i dunno. ): and today i told him, i wanted to quit sch, he was angry and say go ahead, he cant be bother. i know he's stress with something too. just this 'something' which both ofus refuse to let each other know. he say he will tell me next time. but then, how abt my own problems? how should i tell you then? i'm scare. i worry if i dun shared or talked to anyone, it gonna drive me crazy. or rather, i'm already crazy. sigh. godpa was right, he say he cant sense the happiness in me anymore, cos he knew all along, i was just acting, acting to be happy in order to ease his worries. i didnt whine to him abt how sch life were nowadays. i dun. and he say, its just so not me. hais. mr tan say objective in life. ok, i tried my very best to convince myself but i cant. i keep wanting to go back to the old enviroment tht once belong to me. sigh. and now, wad driving me crazy or making me change wasnt tht environment anymore. yup, godpa, i wasnt happy. i know you know i wasnt tht happy nowadays. yup, and once again, you got it right, i didnt wanto worry you. sigh. when can i tell you wad is really bothering me. i guess he msut be marking amath now. til late ngihts again. sigh. no comment. tkc.
