post #135.

still in confusion and mixed and now very mixed feelings. after yesterday post, decided to email my godpa. seem abit nonsense abt not disturbing him in the end, i still did. well, i type a wayy long one with 70% rubbish and acting happy. i guess, he is really busy at least, he reply with a 90% certain and guiding me out of my darkness. well.. i know and lastly, he ask me have to be brave. thanks. i know i'm not gonna be alone. thanks.

-let me reply his email first.-

it kind of shocked. he reply my email early in the morning. 5:44am. thanks godpa. he is the only one that know how i feel the the story of it. be brave. but then, not to deny, i didnt wanto face the reality. i just how, i will be alone. just stay out of everything. sleep til i die. i hope. sigh. more and more stuf coming. i'm sick and tired abt it. ):

well, wad make me move on, is my 7 buddy and godpa and those loved one around me. thanks godpa. hope, the next time, you saw me, i will still be the cheerful one. (: couldnt describe how grateful i saw ur email and it at least give me some enlightment. thanks. luckily, i still have you, if not i might go bonkers. all the best to your school work, i hope. still thankyou.

well, paper was unexpected. some say easy while others say hard. i wasnt myself when i'm doing it. at least, i tried. i couldnt be bother. it driving me nuts. spend about 1/2 hour and off to CL10 to sign something for the class. they wanted to change away the econs teacher. aww, no comments, goes with the majority. i'm no longer the last time peiching. who knows where to go, wad to do, wad to say. i'm no longer the girl. i cant even walk my way out now. full of confusion.

the only thing i feel like doing now, is jsut hiding and pretending i'm sleeping.stop asking for my comments and leave me alone. i dun feel like saying anything i dun wanto be whole day long crying. i'm really not who i'm. i dont plan events now. i dun talk loudly in class now. i'm just the opposite me from last time. sigh.

lastly,

thanks godpa for being there for me. i really appreciate it. thankyou. (: call me relying on you or wadsoever. i dun care anymore. cos i know, at least, i dun really care about others thinking.