♥i felt tht pain. it hurts.
well, today is the 15th. one year ago, it's a sunday. and on the 14th, i remember tht godpa was darn angry tht i called him bias king after some misunderstanding abt me. den he go on by smsing me how he felt and all those thing. which hurt me so much. til now, i still clearly rmb how i feel at tht point of time. i was in wisma and received the sms, and i cried in the public. which shocked rach and ppl. (: the stuff he sms me was so harsh, tht at tht moment, i wonder if he was my godpa. tht's was the first time, i sms him those rude stuff and hurt him too. i cried on the bus etc. and now, i find myself darn silly. he smsed me stuff like he trusted me and buy me nougats and stuff. he gave up 5years of his life span just for us. he pinned the ugly drawing on his board. and he really appreciate me for who i really am. wanting to show his appreciation towards me by action and keep smsing me and i didnt bother to reply. that was the only time, he keep smsing and i didnt reply at all. he called yongwei to look for me and stuff. i was really touched tht time. and i rmb one thing he say:' monday will be ur graduation day, i know wad to do already.' he telling me he didnt wanto attend it. well, tht time, i was angry yet i still went on to do a box full of snoppy toy inside and also painting for him. tht night, he keep calling yongwei, i keep rejecting to call back. and the next day, he fall sick. he went to tell cheryl on sunday tht he's having a fever. and i smsed him by asking if he is attending my graduation tml. and this blah man still can act angry say wad i dun wan him to go. (: uncle, i miss those time when u tried to pacify me. i really do. (: it been one year. 365days. and everything change. i still like it when he put mine ugly drawing on his board instead of shaomei one which look more like a drawing to me. i was really happy. cos at least, he appreciate what i have drew. (: i doubt he still rmb all this. today in school was kind of happy. the whole class was crazy over playing those 'black magic' , 'johnny whoosh', 'time', 'bang bang bang', 'meh meh' and 'mrt track' i think. it some very funny game abt the pattern and stuff. (i believe my uncle cant do, cos he dislike number pattern) hmm, luckily i know how to play la. cos last time always play with the rest of them. i love black magic. hmm.. except the mrt one, the rest i can play. it's fun. slack in class and lesson was like finally over and rushed home. super tiring. ): tml one period and go home. heeeee. i dun even bother to go school la. haha.well, guess, i make the wrong choice to give him chance. i should trust my uncle judgment. he is always right. and i shouldnt even think of hurting him cos of him. well, forget it. time will heal everything i guess. but i still felt the instant pain at this moment. why? i dunno too. yuheng's ask me, how will i react if i saw my bf walking with another girl on street. totally blank out and heart pain. i dunno how to tell him. hmm, i will cry my heart out and maybe even go bonkers. i dunno too. but now, he decided to end it. when there's a scar., it isnt perfect anymore. i cant let him go, cos i know i cant but then, i dunno too. forget it. no use talking abt it now.spectrum2. lalala. anyone wanna go with me? you will be my partner then. haha. i miss my uncle too. dunno why. seem like i lost everything. at least, i didnt go crying to him this time. (: uncle, jiayou for spectrum2. daddy too! you 2 are my favorite. nto forgetting my sucker. (: tkc. cheers.
