♥i'm only important when u need me
well, i haven been posting for the past 2 days, ): i'm busy and tired. wadever you can say abt it. sigh.ytd was really hellish. i went out from home and i sit in the park den cried for 2 and half hours due to some problem. sigh. cry and cry til i dunno wad to do. and it's kind o saddening hwen i only have godpa in my mind and i tot he will bother abt me. but seem like, the answer now is no. is it really tht hard to spare some of your time. maybe ba. first time, i feel so lonely, so dunno wad to do. so scare and stuff. all i did was sms my godpa, thinking that, he still care and concern abt me and will surely reply. but then, it seem like, he didnt have to. i didnt know how i feel at tht point of time. i tot it all dream awhile ago, but then, i felt the instant pain in my heart. it's so hard for me to trust and believe him so much, yet, when i'm really in trouble and dunno wad to do, he's not there. i know, he dun have to be there for me and stuff. den why tell me, he will show me his appreciation by action, den why tell me, he's willing to do anything for me. i mean, you dun practise wad u preach. if you find me irritating, let me know, instead of letting me have the tot tht you gonna be there whenever i'm feeling down and stuff. i,m always naive and taken for granted by you. i think so too. you only look for me, either u heard complain or u need my help. just like, prom night. did i ever ever reject you whenever you ask me for help. i never once say 'NO' to you. i forgo all my working and stuff, just to help u, when in the end, i know tyou are enjoying in jap restaurant with the few of them,. did i make any noise? no. i didnt. i dun ask for repay or wad. i just hope, you are there at least just like i was there when u need a lsitening ear. but the ans is no. i know i ask for too much and stuff. wadever. maybe, you will look for me, when you need me to sell spectrum tickets. i know, i will not reject u again. it's so hurting to me when i know the person i trust and believe so much were nv there when i need him. so wad. instead, ytd, D' were the one smsing me. he didnt know i cry. just asking where am i. it so contradict to realised my godpa was far too busy to bother abt me when all along i tot he would bother. this is not the first time, you hurt me. but this is the first time, you let me know how much i meant to you. and telling me to wake up from all those dream and lies you once told me before. i will nv believe u again. prom night like tht, PAT like tht, FF like tht. to you, i'm only important and in need when you need it. thanks. thanks for tht.well, i ponned school today. i got things to settle and stuff. i cant be bother to explain here. it pissed me totally. i haven recover from all those agony. and i swear, i promote spectrum2 this time round is cos of daddy not you anymore. to me, you are important, but all this while, wadever i have been doing, is it worthwhile. no. it's never worthwhile. i cant be bother to let you know or hide from you tht i'm attach with him again. call me a fool or wadsoever. at least, this time round, i wun go crying to you anymore. it really hurt me to know the truth. so be it. wadever. i saw the true colour of yours. *perhaps i being mean and stuff. i cant be bother. i dun need you to tell me how to judge. i dun need anymore. wh yshouldi bother abt you. no more. it's over. if you cant fulfill ur promise, den dun give ppl empty promises. wadever. i know the truth.*
