♥this must be god doings.
well, lost. still very lost at this point of time. pretend to be happy but who can sense it. i guess, everyone thought, i will be fine and i'm strong enough to handle everything. tht's wad i have been telling everyone too. i gonna be fine, i will be alright but i dunno if i was or not. all along, i thought it wun affect me at all. all along, i thought, i dont give a damn at all. all along, i thought i will be able to survived through. thank god, at least there is friend tht allow me to know the fact, i'm not alone. and also, my family.all along, i treat this someone so important to my heart. so close, but when i need him,. he is not there. i treat him as a listening ear but he might be thinking tht, i attract his attention coming up with packs of lies to do so. it hurt so much to realised, i'm left with nothing, really nothing. i feel so empty and loss. all motivation gone. i just need someone to really sit down and listen wad is going on and console me. or guiding me, just those encouragement. but then, all this seem so near, yet so far. i dun need ur sympathize. i dun need you to give me like, 5hours of ur time. just an hour or so. tht's wad i need. but you never. not even a 5cents msg, telling me wad i should do, and asking me to be brave. does all those word sound super irritating and childish to you? perhaps, to you, let me tell you, all those words you used to tell me are so clear in my mind and they are the only reason tht i keep pushing myself forward. but seem like, all those are burdens to you. it hurt. really alot. but have how i felt, ever bother abt you? i doubt so. thanks for letting me realised, all this while, i'm never important. thanks.i dunno wad to say right now. but heart is aching like hell and there's no one to talk to. cos there's only someone who i trusted and believed so much, yet, tht person, treating me for granted. feeling like crying out loud, but i have been doing it for the past few days and there's no much tear. and there is still this something i wanted to tell this someone, i pass my math. getting 37/40. i guess, i didnt let you down at least. cos all those skill are yours tht impart to me. i dun have to go for math lesson anymore, cos i passed it. and, you are still the first one i wish to tell. but then, i didnt sms you again. i smsed melissa. i dunno if you going to know. it dun matter anymore. just like i dun matter to you anymore. do you still need my supported for spectrum2? dun need anymore i guess. i'm not angry with you but truly, disappointed.if tht how you gonna treat me, thanks. cos i have all along been a fool. a real stupid fool. thanks. ohgosh, i really greatly appreciate mr seah. he's smsing me out of sudden. thankyou. tht's why you are my superman. you are forever there when i'm in lurch. told him abt my result,, he say credit goes to uncle. tht's true. and he say family problem will be solved one day. thanks. so short. yet so sweet. at least, for a person who is currently lost, to light up some light in the path. thankyou. he ask me to study hard. not to embrassed myself. well, forever la you. (: i'm so touched. i couldnt describe how grateful i was to mr seah. thanks superseah. and mr ong is tlakign to me now. how sweet can all my teachers be? they are the top of the world. i know both of them, will never see this post. but they make me felt so happy and accompanied. thnakyou god, for sending them to me. it's the best present i ever received. which is all this guardian angels. at lest, brighten up my night. thankyou god. mr ong, you are also there when i need you. you are the teacher i will never ever forget. (: if god make me exchange 10years of my lifespan for this very short yet heart warming moment, i will not hesitate to exchange for it. there's how love and concern is important to me now. thankyou god. i'm grateful to u. (: cos, talking to them, make me forget all those unhappiness. mr seah sms me out of a sudden and mr ong talk to me via msn out of sudden too. is this god arrangement. how thankful i should be. (:
