`` To See PANDA in China.
`` South Africa Trip.
`` Back To Cambodia.
`` HOLIDAYS! (:
`` plenty of MONEY.
`` get my diploma.
`` BURBERRY bag.
`` WONDERFUL 21st B'DAE
2days before i last post. =x lalala. have been working for the weekend. (: *phew, finally, i perserver through.* this few days, many thing went through my mind. i was just looking back at those older post. have i changed, or the world have been changing without me realising it? all this while, i thought i'm really strong. i thought everything will goes fine. i thought everything will be wad i want it to be. but then, i realised, compared to last time, i'm no longer the one giving orders. i'm no longer being so sociable. i'm no longer having those friends who are nice to me. i'm just no longer who i'm. i lost my sense of direction, lost my true self.
this few days in sim lim, i'm having a tough time, keep telling myself, i can do it. i will sell. cos i rmb someone ever say tht 'you are strong, always strong.' i keep believing tht i'm strong, real strong. i will never fall. but then, i realised the ugly side of humans. i dunno why. i felt super stress this weekend working for fuji in sim lim. yes, i dun like it. this morning, i wake up, i told myself tht this is another challenge, i must complete it somehow, cos it's part of my life marathon. i didnt manage to sell any. i hate the eyes of my colleague when they think i'm doing nothing. i hate the way they pretend to be helping me to sell. _l_ i dun like it. they are obviously not when they push casio. i really dunno how to work this weekend, i'm like meeting with so much setback. ): and imagine, your customer get snatch away when i dunno other prices. i do not know how to tell chris and andy tml. it's stressing me up. but then, thanks connie jie, at least, she tell me to jiayou. is this one more obstacles the god set for me. will i ever get it over? i wonder.
tml there's productivity. i didnt study at all. DIE~ but den i really dunno a single thing. i'm so super lost now. but i'm ponning tuesday. no choice. MC is the best thing to show daddy too. (: i miss him alot.
uncle say, i seem strong, but actually i'm weak. tht's true. gabriel say, i'm queen of 4E3. am i? i felt it's an insult to 4E3 tht they have me leading them. i miss those really fun and eventful days. i miss planning events. i really do. i wanted to drew out the floor plan, i wanto decided wad to do for the whole event. i wanto be the OIc to incharge of everything again. i want. i'm no longer queen. i find, i have lost my land and battle to others. i'm merely a follower. perhaps, god want me to feel how it's like to be a follower. there's never an 'always' in role play. i'll never be a leader again. i felt like, i lose everything. i'm a failure.
spectrum on tuesday. (: i cant wait to meet up with them.
he once told me: 'you can do it. cos you are tanpeiching.'
is it? i dun like to look into the mirror nowadays. i find myself so fake. i'm no longer that cheerful and noisy anymore. godpa, i'm no longer the peiching you know. i have change. or the reality have make me change. i dunno. daddy am i still the capable girl who can help you in ur events now? perhaps no.
i think i'm returning all my organization skill back to daddylee. and all my perseverance back to godpa. i'm sorry. i never find myself so useless before. i need them to guide me out again. sigh.
nothing is fair, the thing that is fair, is that everything is not fair- quote by mrs lim. (:
