♥let's try to give and take.
haven being able to update for the past few days. busy and lack of sleep. x=wednesday;went to school as usual and back home teach tuition. (: after tuition went over to meet dear at raffles place den down to his place. spend a night over there as usual and then meet khym and christine. dear brought medicine for my sore throat. thankyou my dear.thursday;shall has being a hassle. not feeling well since morning. ): and thanks to waishan, she brought me a gastric pill. thankyou my sister. then follow by we went to school by taxi as i was feeling like fainting. and jeanie brought sandwiches for me. ahha. have lunch in TR and stay in school until 2.30. nearly faint in school. so tired. back home, rest and getting ready to meet dear at night for dinner. (:we went on to sakae for dinner buffet. yummy,. ate so much can. (: happy!~ dear brought me a bracelet. (: thankyou dear. and have tons of laughter in sakae. nowadays we joked about anything. =x lol. and then we went to walk around town as usual. nothing much to cover as it always the same old thing. =x and then, together we walk to istana park again. i love walking with him. just like everything seem to go slow at that moment. i love holding his hand as if we will walk like this forever. i just love spending time with him. and then, around 11, dear went of to meet up with kaka and ppl for a drink and gathering. ohwell, back home i sleep like a log. i'm just so tired can. ): laaaccckkk of sleep.
friday;back to school early morning for TR. and yes, for the first time i consider it's fun to be in the pantry with albert ong and just that someone is just so irritating. yea! no comment. like shit! yes, only working with him is like shit. wth. anyway, i love working with fungmin and ppl. lol. we have laughter and joke in the pantry. haha! albert ong was funny as usual. super shocked that he will roll up his sleeves and go and rescue the choke sink. lol. he's nice. i think he's really 100times better than mike low. omg. and then, jie hui and i was basically high-ing dont know over wad. perhaps, both of us were happy we get to meet our dear at night. wheewee!~was supposed to meet up my group and go to waishan' birthday at night. but then, still i still went to meet dear, cos i wanted to get laptop for auntie. lol. brought the laptop and stuff. yawns. was kind of late when everything have finish. and then went over to dear place to wait for him to change. and yes, due to something, it changes everything. it affect my mood, it make me realised everyone need pride. her sister comment that;' why our house always got people come one. here also not hotel'. i was keeping quiet all along. i didnt even offended her. and perhaps, she didnt like me. and i think it's true she didnt like me. it hurt badly to know that in fact you wasnt welcome by others at all. and all i ever did at her place was hiding in dear room. his family have been treating me like invisible but yes, the feeling was bad. it was hard to adapt. but all i want, was to be with dear and spend sometime together, so i dont mind being treated as invisible. the feeling was awful. it jsut like you have just being slap or something. it too hard for me to accept. too harsh to make me face reality. cry is all i ever did. but dear told me not to mind what she have say. how? teach me how can i dont mind and still fuckingly go up to his place? i cant. i really cant.i show dear attitude the entire process from his place to collecting cake to waishan's chalet. i know it's unfair to me. but i dont think it';s fair to me either. laptop was left at his place. and i think i will never go up again. sorry. but thankyou dear, he didnt even wanted to scold or throw his tantrum at me. instead he call home and told them it's really not so nice to say such thing to me. it's hard to accept, it dont feel good either. in my entire 17years of life, i have not feel so humiliated before. but dear ask if i can try to accept and forgive his sister. i try, yes i will. i just dont understand why did a 17year old girl cant even control wad she say? dont she know it hurt others? what's the point of smiling to them when they comment like tht. but at least, i know i didnt offend her. went on to waishan chalet. it was fun i guess. everyone was like enjoying. dear used his magic trick to cheat waishan and jie hui again. lol. i enjoy myself too. lol. and jeanie was as usual bbq-ing like nothing. haha. ate so much food. yummy! and then, dear and I, jiehui & her bf, alvin & elsa, yuheng, jeanie& zhangxi, the few of us went to walk around. nice! talk alot with dear and share alot with gang. i love them. they are great. haha. back to chalet, and the worst thing came.kassim was like asking if jeanie, me and one more girl wanted to challenge him. and i was just being playful and lack of self control, went to play with kassim. lose lose lose, keep losing and dirnk drink drink. int the end, drunk. lol. i didnt know wad i did again but i just know dear was just so disappointed in me. ): but i was touch that he stay up the entire night just to take care of me over there. and he went to buy those drinks and panadol for me to prevent a bad hangover when i woke up. the feeling was awful. ): it was worst than tht time. cos kassim used absolute vodka to play with us. and just around 3 to 4 cups, gone. i drunk.lol. and i was super touch that dear have done so much for me. when i was drunk, he was still waiting outside for me to wake up. until i fall asleep and stuff, he rush cab home and change and rush back here again. ): i'm sorry dear. i dont mean it. i know this sentence you have been hearing tons of time. actually, i rather you scold me and make me feel better. ): he;s great. done too much of stuff just for me. and morning came, jeanie gone drunk after me. she's mad. i have never seen ross and mengli so angry before. lol. and keep scolding her. =x lol. funny. the scene was funny. and dear brought me for breakfast and off eh went to work. i felt so guilty that he sty up the whole night. if not i didnt want to go up to his place, he will not stay up til so late. if not that i have drunk and he's worry about me, he can go home and sleep. if not i didnt know how to take care of myself, i wont make him upset and hurt him so much. i'm sorry dear.well, it's all over. and i know what i have done wrong towards him and i wont repeat it. thankyou for not leaving me alone when i'm drunk when i need you. thankyou for waiting for me the entire night. thankyou for being able to understand why i didnt want to go up to your place anymore. and lastly, thankyou for knowing how badly hurt i was last night. thankyou, if not for you, i wont be able to hold on there. i wont be able to act like nothing happen. i just have a request, if we were to be together in the future and have our own family, just a place on our own. i will try to accept your family as mine and i hope you can give me the time. i hope you dont find me being unreasonable nad petty. but the sentence hurt too much. too much to be true. i simply love him. (: hugs.*
you will always be in my heart. forever. (:
